"Harder and harder."

Its past 3 a.m. and I am laying on the couch. My body feels warm and sort of tingly. I have unfolded the sofa into a bed and I have spread my legs wide. I enjoy how it feels to be stretched out. There are only two sources of light in the room: a pink light turned down low in the corner and the screen from my laptop which plays "Waves Crashing on Distant Shores of Time" by Clint Mansell.

I like to close my eyes, hold still, and imagine my body flow with the music. It's a type of meditation. My blood is rushing from the poppers I did a moment ago. I feel my irises sort of expand as my head and chest resemble molten lava, slowly boiling and hot. My breath is deep, and it fills me with excitement. Normally there would be some porn playing: raw, sweaty guys rubbing against each other, kissing deep and writhing, one inside the other. Not today.

I like the peace in this moment.

I take another hit of the small bottle in my hand and I leave it to the side. I touch the hair on my chest, caress my nipples and feel my chest muscles. I am not a big muscular guy but lately the gym has been paying off. Feeling the strength in my own muscle turns me on and I grab my chest harder. My nipples are stiff, and I pinch them as I am alternating from one to the other, giving me stabs of pain that last longer and longer but make me harder and harder. As my dick is steadily growing, I feel it slide on my abdomen.

I could creep in the bedroom and start licking my boyfriend in his sleep, wake him up with my mouth and go from there. I don't feel like waking him up tonight. I want to focus on myself tonight. Concentrate on my own touch against my body. I move my hand down and I gently grab my balls. The cock ring I am wearing feels tight and my balls are now pressed against the base of my dick. I massage the space between my balls and my hole with my fingers while my wrist is rubbing the shaft of my cock. The pressure near my hole makes me want to moan but I hold it in because I don't want to make too much noise.

I immediately bring my knees up to my chest and I know that this is where I was heading from the beginning. This position makes me feel so horny and slutty. It's now playing "Feels Like We Only Go Backwards" by Tame Impala, which is my go-to tune for when I am smocking and getting pounded. My legs are wrapped around my arms: one is holding my ass open, and the other is rubbing my hole loose. The spit on my hole feels cold and sticky at first but that makes me feel more sleezy. I let out a breath and I stick the tips of two fingers in. There is no reason to go slow now. I want it stretched and I am ready for it. I can't help but breathe deeply and audibly. As my fingers make their way deeper, phantoms of previous sexdates come up in my imagination. "New Person, Same old Mistakes" is now on.

I remember A. looking into my eyes and holding me by the throat while I rode his dick. He hit my guts as he exploded inside, stretching me out so good. J. buried my head in the corner of this very couch when he had me on all fours and slapped my ass cheeks red. I couldn't come up for air until he had dumped his load. I take a long final hit of the small blue bottle; I grab my dick with one hand and stick three fingers in with the other. I bite my lips, it seems like a cliché but again I like a little stab of pain. An anonymous guy fucked me on missionary position, much like the way I am positioned right now, holding my mouth and eyes shut as he thrust himself inside me. I could only breathe from my nose, but I enjoyed his weight on top of me. He wasn't very big, but he was very hard and his cock hit me exactly on the right spot. That is where I am hitting while thrusting and turning my fingers inside me. I want to slap my ass hard and feel the sting as my skin turns reddish, but it will be too much noise and I am already breathing audibly.

I feel its time to release and I know what is going to get me there. K. had joined me and my boyfriend for a threesome recently. Now my balls are aching from the pressure of the cock ring. I was sweating and riding my boyfriend, hands against the wall to hold resistance. My fingers are now turning inside my stretched hole and I am maniacally jerking my dick off building tension. K. alternated in fucking my boyfriend and double stuffing me. I know that I am close to cumming now. K. held me from behind and fucked me simultaneously with my partner. The pressure was intense, I can almost feel it now as I am remembering it. He held my body close as the two of them where thrusting in and out of me making me blow from excitement. Our bodies were so hot and I couldn't decide if I had to stop from the pressure, but I couldn't make out the words because of the intensity of the pleasure. When K. was close, he pulled out of me, slid inside my partner and filled him up. My partners eyes grew wide open and I didn't stop until I had his fill inside me. I laid on my back, both men on each side. I jerked off as I am doing now, with their hands all over me. Their tongues in my mouth and their fingers keeping me stretched open. I came, and I am cumming all over my body. I feel like I am shooting everything I have, detached from time and place, releasing all the tension I build up. I feel suspended between the two times. Alone on the couch and between them, holding their wet bodies against mine.

Its playing "Tessellation" by Mild High Club as I come back to the present. The two guys are slowly fading as the cum on my body is thick and some of it is starting to slowly run down the sides. I can't be bothered to move much now; I still need a few seconds of total stillness. I gently pull out of my hole and stretch out my legs. I would have gladly fallen asleep here and now. I take off the cock right which now feels too tight and I stand up. I turn the music off, which makes the lateness of the hour even more apparent. I am totally relaxed. I turn my laptop and the pink light off. Wash myself and go to bed next to my sleeping boyfriend. I still need to work tomorrow.  

E. 32