“I want to try something tonight.”

It was late and I had way passed my 8-hour shift. Something very common in our line of work. I am a banker, you see. Suited up almost every day of the week, overworking. I love my suit and what it represents, but sometimes you just have to unbutton that shirt because you need to breathe.

I needed a break so I went to the balcony of the floor to relax. I didn’t get the phone with me, I needed to stay away from screens for a bit. Our building is in a very central street of Athens. It was that late though that even that avenue was empty. I took off the suit, unbuttoned my shirt and gazed over the urban landscape that was presented in front of me.

I heard footsteps and chatting coming from down the street. Someone was exiting the building. It was two guys. I couldn’t neither recognise them nor listen to what they were saying. I could just see their suited silhouettes waking away. Probably someone I knew, though.

The two men stopped walking at some point and faced each other. They were chatting more silently now. My eyes were focused on them. The yellow lights from the street were setting up a very movie-like scenery. A minute passed and the two guys gave a very long lasting strong hug. A hug not shared between colleagues or even friends. A hug shared between lovers. I could see the emotions manifested in their postures.

The hug was over and the guy on the left walked towards his car that was parked exactly in front of the building. He paused for a second, waved his friend goodbye, and entered his car. The other guy stood there, watching his colleague driving away. He didn’t move a bit. It felt like he was still processing the hug. He turned his head on the side, and I could notice that he was smiling. Some seconds later he started walking and disappeared into the darkness of the city.

I am gay and open about it. Unfortunately, I don’t know of any other colleague that are. So I am always careful of my posture and presentation. The suit is like an armor, defending me from competitive colleagues that are ready to take my spot. Gay or straight, the suit proves that you can do the job, whatever your sexuality may be. That’s what my mentor once told me many years ago. And I took that very seriously. There hasn’t been a day were I didn’t were a suit to work.

Seeing two guys in suits expressing themselves publicly made me feel, for some reason, not alone. I don't care to know who are the other gays in the company. I care that there are, and the suits don’t scare them.

And that’s when I started visualizing these two guys ripping those suits apart, and fucking each other. And I was hard for it. Not for the sex, but for the destruction of the suits. I ran inside and texted my guy “I want to try something tonight.”

And that’s how I discovered a new kink, at 42.

F.



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